Really? I honestly don't get this one (and I've worked in stores where they sold Jesus Fish Sour Gummies). I mean I know that there are ultra conservatives out there who think that Disney films contain elements of the occult, so they turn to Veggie Tales to pacify their children instead.
But Sunday School Muscial?! What part of High School Musical did you find offensive? Honestly. We're dealing with a film that, by even Bollywood's standards, is G rated. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! You people who greenlit this film, DO YOU HAVE SOULS?!!
Who am I kidding? I know the answer. Christains = suckers. Suckers = profits.
Sure, it's a film that will only see marginal sucess among an extremely limited base. Still...THERE'S A PROFIT TO BE HAD!
Some people will buy anything if it's "Christianized" because they think that that is their Christian identity. Maybe I'm so passionately against this because I've been a sucker like that before. In high school I used to wear Jesus t-shirts so that I could "tell" my friends about my faith without actually ever dignifying them with an actual conversation.
See, that type of marketing isn't a testimony to God. It's an excuse for those who buy into it to feel better about themselves. They want to be holier so they try to look a certain way, and stock their homes with certain things (I'm looking at you, cross-shaped candy dish). It's easy for them to find their joy not in following the Lord, not loving others around them, but in the latest and greatest that the Christian market has to offer. Pure and simple, it's buyer lust with God's name on it.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again- Just because there's a cross sticker on something doesn't mean that it's holy, that you need it, or that it will somehow give you spiritual enlightenment. A Pinto with a Jesus fish on the back is still a Pinto.
Once again we see an attempt to create a Christian clique. Gee golly dag gonnit.
I'm not the most in shape guy in the world. Don't let my thin outward physique fool you. Underneath this thin facade lies the innards of a 400 pound man (and my frequent chest pains can attest to that).
In my latest effort to stay in shape while avoiding the traditional solutions of going to a gym and eating right, I was blessed by my in-laws with the Wii Fit as an early Christmas present.
Awesome! You're telling me I have a way to play video games and get healthier?! Game on.
Now, I'm not completely naive to this type of scheme. I've been duped by fitness video games before (I'm looking at you Dance Dance Revolution). But this time I had hope. After all, I saw that there was a guy doing push ups in the commercial. Push ups, dude, push ups!
To be fair, the first time I booted up Wii Fit I was expecting a friendly, yet constructive reminder or two of how out of shape I am. I expected the game to be honest with me so that I could improve. Just not this honest.
In my first FIVE minutes of playing the game I was told that I had the posture of a 38 year old man (complete with "womp womp" music).
Okay, so we were off to a rocky start. Wii Brutally Honest and I didn't exactly hit off. Whatever. I reasoned our relationship would heal with time.
It's been almost a month. I'm pretty consistent in my work outs, but that's still not good enough for it. The Wii Fit board still lets out a groan of pain every time I step on it. I'm not kidding, when I step on it lets out a stifled scream. If I miss a few days every now and then Wii Fit is right there to guilt me about it.
BUT THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!
I had a realization tonight. A sudden understanding of why Nintendo's latest debacle has been so mean to me. The reason why the game is such a jerk is because it's trying to kill me. Wii Fit wants my life.
A couple of weeks ago, and I swear I'm not making this up, it started asking me if I was paying attention to my wife. It started asking me if I noticed how pretty she was, and how toned she had become.
Why would Wii Fit do that? Because it's secretly in love with my wife and is waiting for the chance to off me.
I became even more aware of this when its new "Yoga" poses slowly became more and more capable of breaking my neck. I think this game is systematically trying to lure me into injuring myself with excercises that make no sense, and are not humanly possible for any person but Gumby.
Heck, the exercises are beginning to utilize the actual Wii Fit board less and less. Why? Because it doesn't want there to be any evidence that it was involved once I eventually have an "accident." Then Wii Fit will be right there to "console" my wife, and move in. Like the movie Unlawful Entry but less intrusive than Ray Liota.
I'm on to this game's schemes. But the worst part is that there's nothing I can do to stop it. If I quit exercising with it, then I'll probably get really out of shape and die young. If I keep exercising with it, it's going to off me. I'm serious, this game will kill me.
